>My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time 
>and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.  Thank you for 
>making me feel safe and secure.
>
>Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on 
>envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to 
>seal an envelope.
>
>Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
>
>I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked 
>with a needle infected with AIDS.
>
>I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant 
>freaks with no eyes or feathers.
>
>I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214 
>angels looking out for me.
>
>Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward 
>an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
>
>I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the 
>internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
>
>In fact, I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I 
>receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating 
>in their special on-line email program.
>
>Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now 
>return the favour! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people 
>in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will 
>land on your head at 5:00 PM (EST) this afternoon.  I know this will occur 
>because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's 
>ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician's former client who 
>also died of the bird flu this year.
>
>DO IT NOW OR ELSE.
>And Have a nice day!
>