>Subject: My Heartfelt Thanks!

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time 
and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.  Thank you for 
making me feel safe and secure.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on 
envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to 
seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked 
with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant 
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214 
angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward 
an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the 
internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

In fact, I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I 
receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating 
in their special on-line email program.

Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now 
return the favour! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people 
in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will 
land on your head at 5:00 PM (EST) this afternoon.  I know this will occur 
because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's 
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician's former client who 
also died of the bird flu this year.

DO IT NOW OR ELSE.
And Have a nice day!