On the Net Before Christmas

On the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, just me and my mouse.
The modem and dialer were both working fine,
I hoped my computer would soon be on line.
The rest of the family were all snug in their beds,
While I was in front of my PC instead.

When from the sound card there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet yelling, "What is the matter?"
I moved back to windows in less than a flash
For fear the whole thing was ready to crash.

The LED shone with a peaceful green glow,
As my hard drive assured me, "It's all systems are go!"
And then what a magical website appeared,
Information and pointers to help make things clear.
Whatever I needed, I could get extra quick,
I followed instructions to just point and click,

More rapid than zip files, the e-mail it came.
>From senders and from servers with strange-sounding names.
Like Yahoo, and Lycos, Like Delphi and Pipeline,
Archie or Netscape or America Online.

'Til Eudora was filled to the brim with replies
I feared I'd been spammed in the blink of and eye.
But then like a wild blizzard blown down from the north,
I saw page after page from my printer swirl forth.

So back to the internet quickly I flew.
With a  fistful of chat groups and their addresses, too.
And then, in a twinkling, I started to scan
Websites and home pages from throughout the land.
As I entered each one and was looking around,
I discovered that links to more sites could be found.

I got horoscopes, health service, fashion tips, too.
There were quotes from the stock exchange, and movie reviews!
>From forums and focus groups on car repair -
To "Check Your Own Prostate!" -- I went everywhere.
Through cartoons and show tunes I happily rambled,
At Harvard I studied, in Vegas I gambled.
I visited towers from Trump to the Eiffel,
I learned how to lock, load and fire a rifle.

And having learned that, I went on safari,
Then crossed the wide sands of the great Kalahari,
The steamy rain forest, the temples of Athens,
The tombs of the Pharaohs, the streets of Manhattan,

I visited landmarks and natural wonders,
Saw polar bears up north, koalas Down Under,
Danced with Baryshnikov, sang with the Beatles,
Fly fished in Idaho, rumbaed in Rio.

Ran with the bulls in the streets of Pamplona,
Had quite the adventures all the world over,
There still were a thousand more places to go.
But the hour was late, the moon it was low.

Just one more inquiry before I retired,
'Til the next thing I knew, the whole night had expired
And my family exclaimed as the morning dawned red,
"Happy Christmas to all... Haven't you been to bed?"