I am tech support, and I know it all.
I anxiously wait for your latest call.
You've only to play, the game of voice mail,
I'll be with you shortly, I'm working my tail.
Now tell me your problem, and what did you do?
That cannot have happened.  I haven't a clue.
I may have the answer, though it's slightly late,
Just buy the next version, release, or update.
Next, tell me your problem, no matter how small,
I am tech support, and I know it all...
I am the tech support god, I do it all
Rebuild a desktop, replace a mouse ball
Plug in the line for "No Dialtone"
Lusers call me up, talk to me on the phone
"Why doesn't it work, you stupid prick?"
"I'm sorry sir, you must double-click."
Plug in a printer they said was dead
Dreaming of filling their head with lead
Why won't they do it just as I say?
Why should I even get up today?