Larry Schiller's Homecoming Rant. If homecoming is such a big deal how come no one on this campus cares enough to know what is going on. Homecoming at SU involves the six remaining sororities and fraternities on campus , that haven't been kicked off campus that week for alcohol hazing, parading two floats down Walnut Ave. onto University Place stopping between sci-tech and slocum. At schools in the south, homecoming king and queen elections are more important than presidental elections at SU, these elections take place at Varisty Pizza only after candidates have been elimated by taking an exam on the history of which fraternities have been kicked off campus in the last year. The only people who show up at the crowning of homecoming king and queen are the eight people who survived the grueling exam and promise the chancellor that they will stay sober during the homecoming football game. Speaking of the homecoming football, most schools schedule a rival that will inspire some school spirit, here at SU we schedule the likes of Rutgers, Cincinnati and the great power from the mid-west The Little Sisters of the Poor. This gives the student body and the 10 alums who still have their teeth the opportunity to get blasted for 3 hours on flat expensive beer before heading to the bars for another 4 hours of drinking expensive flat beer. But lets remember the most common answer given by SU students when asked what homecoming meant; "Its the first Time I went home after coming up to SU". Thats my opinion, and God Damn It I'm Right