Ideas for my future office. Where am I Board. Board with led lights that connect to a serial port of a unix box. Using a device driver, I can telnet in and change status of the board to say lunch, sleeping, sick, out for the day, etc. If this fails, then a screen or monitor near a window that has text pipped to it. Loud alarm horn attached to serial port to go off when critical router or system goes down, or intentionally if someone is prodding with equipment. CD-R or AOL CD wallpaper. Back door dial-in lines connected to a specific PPP server for telecommuting. Clipboard labeled 'Accounts to kill' Large map of network backbone. Webcam of routers so I don't have to walk to see if they are working. (Useful checking block sync of Cablevision cable modems). Online help forms only. Locked office with no way to look in if I choose. A windows machine, a great Mac, a simple Linux box, and a nice Sun (just for the coolness factor), and a small laser printer. Nerf lart tools. A Nintendo. Computer science theoretical cheat sheet and various other forms of humor grabbed from my web site. Lots of random equipment and supplies (cables, mice, etc). An alarm system. Critical servers if possible. Refrigerator labeled 'The Foo Bar' Decoy halon hold-off switch used to frighten contractors. Project Time Estimator. Throw the dice, read the numbers, and that is how long it will take to complete a project. Need several D&D dice. A Funk-O-Meter. Measures funkyness. A Crisis Hat. When worn, it means crisis in progress and do not even think of disturbing me. In machine room, stash food and soda in the raised flooring. Independent thought alarm, like in Simpsons, for educational jobs. Device or program that displays the amount of money I earned for the day by seconds. Cot or retractable bed for all nighters.